Max Hacks

There are often times I am puzzled by what goes on in the mind of a three year old. I've learned being three isn't always easy, sometimes people just don't understand you --- specifically, Max. This boy is a true bundle of joy in our lives, but that's not to say he can't be a complete pain the booty sometimes too. I'm grateful Lyla is past this phase of her adolescent development. Although the dramatics remain rampant, she is generally pretty rational and comprehends the logic in information presented to her. Then there are times with Max when I just have to laugh and remind myself that "this too shall pass." Let me enlighten you on some of his curious behavior.

As we were playing in the backyard this week, Lyla was making a wild creation using buckets of sand, water, and who knows what else. She was transporting a plastic cup full of water from the pool to the edge of the yard where the concrete meets the grass. She was minding her own business and seemingly enjoying herself. Suddenly, Max enters the scenario and insists this cup is in the way of his intended walking path. My initial response was the most obvious answer, just walk around the cup. He did not appreciate this response and I could tell a meltdown was brewing. It's moments like this when I just stare at him in disbelief for a few seconds. The insanity of throwing a fit over a cup being in your way is baffling. I gently explained the cup was there first and offered the second most reasonable option --- move the cup! I guess this made sense in his mind because he picked up the cup, moved it about a foot to the right, and continued walking. 

Max enjoys a ham and cheese sandwich a few times a week, usually cut into a shape with our dinosaur cookie cutter. However, there is a technique to follow if you wish to avoid any emotional distress. I make sure each layer of sandwich has adequate amounts of mayonnaise to ensure the layers do not fray apart as he takes bites. This is insane. My pre-parenting self would have thought someone to be completely out of their mind to be so accommodating to a three year old. But this is real life. There are some battles not worth fighting and these are the simple steps I take in order to avoid a meltdown over something as simple as a sandwich. He is similarly particular about a granola bar. If he is eating a granola bar and it breaks in half, either accidentally or intentionally, he melts into the ground over it. I've tried convincing him the bar tastes the same regardless, but he rejects that logic. At that point, I've been known to moisten the sugary fibers to "glue" the bar back together. Again, this is insane....but it's for my own protection!!!!

The last Max-ism that comes to mind is regarding his shoes, specifically shoes with laces. It took me many moons to realize Max requires the excess laces to be the same length and fall evenly over the center of the shoe. I have witnessed the walls closing in around him if his shoes are not just right. The day I finally realized what the problem was, my mind was blown. Insanity. You better believe his shoes get tied the correct [see: Max] way every single time. It's habit now. 

Maybe a three year old runs the show. Maybe we choose our battles. Maybe this is just life Max. He's lucky we love him so much!