Maxwell: 15 Months

Maxwell is fifteen months old. Somebody pinch me.
His personality continues to blossom every day. 
He is such a sweet little boy, always giving his momma hugs & kisses. 
I know he won't stay little, but I sure hope he always stays sweet.

1. It is typical for toddlers to love the word no.
I always wondered if there is any toddler in existence who loves yes.

Well, I am a proud owner of a "yes" lover. Max responds with "yes" to literally everything.
His positive attitude is so refreshing! ;)

2. In addition to saying yes, he is saying other words too.
such as dog, krew, mom, dad, lyla, book, car, bye. more and more each day. 
grunting and growling are still the preferred method of communication.

3. He mimics Lyla. It is hilarious.
He observes and learns from her on a constant basis
and he is even a willing participant in her pretend games now. 

4. He loves meat. Has an extreme dislike for fruit. (except cantaloupe)

I promise he was not coached in any way to be this way.

5. He has eight teeth. And he doesn't want any more because 
that may inhibit the food storage space in his mouth. [aka his cheeks] 

6. He has learned some really sweet dance moves.
If I turn on music he will suddenly stop what he is doing, 
look up and start bouncing his legs up and down.

7. He is so ticklish. Everywhere. Especially his feet. 
I can't even get through a full round of "this little piggie!"

8. He occasionally makes two fists and throws himself to the
 ground if he doesn't get his way. So far, it's funny when it happens.
However, I am worried about how these fits will evolve in two year old Max.
Lyla has never been much of a tantrum kid, so this should be interesting....

9. He will hold still for a diaper change. Yippee!!!
Unless you change diapers frequently, you may not understand
how annoying it is to wipe poop off a butt while simultaneously wrestling a baby.
I think he finally realized it goes much quicker when he cooperates. 

10.  We traded in his nighttime boob snack for story time.
It didn't take him long to fall in love with this book about a truck being stuck.
There are several dogs in this book ["dawwwwwgggg"] and
he also enjoys making the "vroom vroom" sound when
the truck gets un-stuck. :)

If you wish to read his previous lists click here or here.
oh, and here. don't forget about here!

Mom Moment

You will never have this day with your children again.

Tomorrow, they will be a little older then they were today.
This day is a gift, breathe and notice, smell and touch them;
study their face and little feet and pay attention.
Relish the charms of the present.
Enjoy today Momma, it will be over before you know it!

                           -Jen Hatmaker

As I read this quote tonight, it became clear to me that I am constantly trying to create adventure for these babies, make lasting memories, and hurry their growth along because well, that is what any good mother would do. If I'm not planning out every minute of our day, I often find myself fighting with a two year old, which is always a foolish and strenuous battle. I'm learning to choose those battles more wisely.

My role as a stay at home mom is so much more challenging than I ever imagined. There are definitely some days that sitting at a desk for eight hours sounds like a vacation. I am grateful for the opportunity to stay home and enjoy these years with my babies, but I have to remind myself every day to just sit back and observe. It would be such a shame to miss the little happenings that are taking place right under my nose, as I'm too busy trying to figure out when and where the next memory should be made. 

I try to find those small things and enjoy them, to listen to the quiet moments and relish in them, and to watch memories write themselves on the pages of our books. The simple moments are big moments for Lyla and Max. Sometimes catching a glimpse of something small but significant is so much more valuable than the planned activity, that too often gets rushed through anyhow. 

It is true, it will be over before I know it.

Two Babies. Too Fast.

I caught Maxwell in a familiar looking situation today.

The photo of Lyla reading was taken when she was about fifteen months, right after we moved into our house. Max will be fifteen months by the end of this week. 

It seriously feels like I took that picture of Lyla just yesterday.

Time is cruel. Please slow down.

 

We've been home from Idaho for a total of six days now and life is feeling normal again. The tedious circulation of groceries and laundry is back on track. We squeezed in a couple play dates with friends this week. And Lyla got to go on a special date with her most favorite cousin, Hali.

To my surprise, it's been easier to get Max back on his regular napping schedule than Lyla. In fact, Max is napping like a champion since our return. It could just be the boob withdrawals though, who knows.  

Lyla, on the other hand, is taking a bit longer to adjust. She protests sleep all together, which turns her into a ticking time bomb. She can go from a joyful smile to intense crying in a matter of seconds. She definitely makes the situation more dramatic than necessary, but that's pretty typical from my miss sassy pants. I just keep repeating.... "it's not easy being two....it's not easy being two...."

I Can Hear Texas

This is just a little story about Lyla that I never want to forget:

While we were in Idaho we experienced several thunderstorms. It seemed unusual for this time of year, then again it is Idaho. Idaho is famous for  bipolar weather. Anyway, one night it was getting pretty late. After many attempts, it was obvious that Lyla was not falling asleep anytime soon. I took her to my grandma's back porch and she sat on my lap as we listened to the rain. We were sitting in silence when suddenly she says, "Mommy, I can hear Texas, but I can't see Texas." I squeezed her tight and simply smiled. I love that she correlates Texas with the rain and it was a pleasant reminder of how different a two year old perceives nature, the world, and life in general. 

I hope she never loses that magical sense of wonder.
[is that a song? i think that is a song. i need a life.]

I love you, my baby Lyla. 

Back to Texas. Back to Normal.

We are back. I am so happy to be home. Idaho will always have a permanent home in my heart, but my happy place is in Texas with Kirk, Lyla, & Max. The babies had a lot of fun times in Idaho and bonded with so many relatives. However, we have only been home for a few days and both of them already seem just better. Before our flight I explained to Lyla that we were going back home. Her response was, "what kind of home?" It made me laugh. 

She had no trouble remembering "what kind of home" as soon as we arrived. We have spent most of our time so far getting reacquainted with our house. After spending a month in Idaho, there is currently zero routine. Which I hate. I don't know what time is nap time. The bed time routine seems so foreign. I am working on reintroducing Lyla to a hairbrush. At least we are cooking meals at home again. The amount of french fries we consumed in Idaho was getting to be just shameful. I know we will get back to normal very soon. It's actually nice start over with a clean slate. 

I left the boobs on the airplane, meaning Max is having to get used to a very new normal. My goal with both my babies was to breastfeed for at least twelve months and longer until one of us no longer enjoyed it. As I've mentioned before, it was really challenging when Lyla was a baby and we only worked out for a few months. Max and I have been more successful and it's been a wonderful experience for both of us. I truly love being his source of comfort. Unfortunately, he is becoming a very aggressive eater and I no longer enjoy nursing him. I feel like a mobile drinking fountain and/or  chew toy. It makes me feel mad at him and I don't want to feel angry with a one year old. That is just silly. It's time for me to reclaim my body. I'm doing my best to hide temptation by wearing  loose shirts, and so far he seems to be adjusting well. 

I am so proud of both of them for how well they adjusted in Idaho. I was worried after how overwhelmed they were during our Christmas trip. Max changed and grew substantially while we were there. I feel like I left with a baby and returned with a toddler. He communicates a lot more now and is beginning to say words. Lyla seems different after being there too. She is funnier and even more clever than before. During our visit, she practiced her Frozen performance for anyone who would watch. She spent quality time with all of her grandparents and even got to participate in a few of my old kid traditions. aka: driving on grandpa's lap. "ha-ha kids!"

That One Time I Became Mrs. Johnson

Alright. So here is my new philosophy about planning a wedding and getting married. It is a lot like child birth. I don't think anyone can understand how intense it truly is until they experience it first hand. I am generally a low-stress person but all this wedding chaos brought me to a level of anxiety that I didn't even know existed. I think people might call this bridezilla syndrome. It happened to me and it can happen to you. 

I will do my best to express how this happened to me. Other than the babies taking a few days to adjust to their new surroundings, the beginning of the trip was pretty laid back. There was a lot of crafting. My aunt's house turned into a crafting war zone. I'm sure she is thrilled to have her house back. I crafted with my cousins. crafted with my aunt. crafted with the in-laws. I had one grandpa chopping tree stumps. The other grandpa slicing wine bottles. Literally everyone was crafting in one way or another. I had an extremely frustrating experience getting my dress altered, but it all worked out in the end. You can read my Google review for Treasures in Idaho Falls if you want more detail about that nightmare. I picked up our beautiful rings. I met with my florist. photographer. the bakery. the DJ. It was a little hectic, but I maintained my sanity and at this point, I was still enjoying myself.

I had a very precise vision for the wedding and everything was all planned out as necessary. The three of us were definitely missing Kirk, who couldn't arrive until a few days before the wedding. I especially noticed how it was affecting Max, as he clung to any male who gave him a moment of affection. There were several moments of hating myself for booking a flight three weeks before Kirk. I think I actually cried about not having a wedding planner. Yes. Pathetic. I know. It was worth it in the end, but we definitely struggled without him.

Kirk finally arrived and brought some balance back to our lives. His flight came in late, but since we left Lyla's bed time in Texas, she had no problem coming with me to pick him up. She gave him at least twenty kisses in a row, grabbed his face and took a good look at him, then gave him several more kisses. That "welcome home" will forever be stamped in my memory. Kurt and Olivia were on the same flight and it felt like our old gang was all back together again. The rest of the wedding party and family started trickling in and that's when the intensity struck. 

Thursday night my bridesmaids threw me the most excellent bachelorette party. We started off with some pampering [pedicures & manicures] then got all dressed up for dinner. Afterwards we "wigged out" and ventured to the only spot in Idaho Falls that plays music on a Thursday night. [Ew.] I maintained a manageable level of crazy by keeping myself hydrated with h2o all night and woke up in the morning feeling like a fresh daisy. I knew I had a full day of work ahead at the barn and I didn't want any alcohol induced illness to hold me back. As I was preparing for the day, I believe I experienced my first real live panic attack. I suddenly had knots in my stomach, my heart was racing, and I started bawling for no apparent reason. I was seriously freaking myself out. I continued to bounce back and fourth between crying and hysterical laughter for pretty much the rest of the day. I still don't understand why it happened. I had plenty of help. My family and friends were extremely supportive. My bridesmaids were amazing with e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.  It helped that Kirk, as usual, was cool as a clam. I think it was just the reality of everything coming together. It hit me hard. I survived and the next day was wedding day. 

The wedding came together exactly as I imagined. My flowers were perfect. My hair was just how I wanted. My brother wore deodorant. However, as with all weddings, there were a few minor hiccups. Such as, me forgetting to wear my garter until the garter toss. Lyla and Max napping up until moments before show time. The cake still being slightly frozen. Oh, and although I reminded my foul mouth bridesmaids to keep the sailor talk to a minimum, I ended up being the one to drop [scream] the F bomb in front of my mother in law. Not my proudest moment. But none of that made the day less special.

I've known for a long time that Kirk was the one I wanted to spend my life with. There is no doubt in my mind that he is the "one". I know that some people may question why we would wait so long to get married. I'm still not sure I can answer that, but I will try. I've always been neutral on the idea of marriage. My family is plagued with divorce and I have never really had that great of an example of marriage. For a long time my mindset was, what is the point of getting married if you will just end up divorced. It makes me sad that my family has taught me so much about unconditional love, yet has so many failed marriages. Plus, I've always been slightly a rebel and questioned the norms of our society. I knew marriage wouldn't change my feelings for Kirk. The fact that we loved each other and were committed to each other was enough for me. 

It may come as a surprise to a lot of people that Lyla was not an accident. I was ready to become a mom. Kirk wanted to be a dad. The only surprising part was that she started cooking only two short months after we made that decision. We definitely felt pressure from both of our families to get married at that point. I think it is hard, especially for older generations, to take relationships seriously without the commitment of a marriage. However, I refused to have a shot gun wedding just to please our parents. I had a visual of the kind of wedding I wanted and I was willing to wait until we could make that happen. Kirk and I felt the same. In our eyes we were already living as husband and wife, and we were content with not rushing to make it official. 

As I matured, I understood the value of marriage. I finally became eager about getting married once I became a mom to Lyla. The biggest reason was I wanted to share the same last name as the people I loved the most. We are one unit and I never want Lyla [or Max] to have any reason to question that. It will never matter to them that we weren't married, they likely will not even remember the wedding. The most imperative thing is the unconditional love that I mentioned earlier. It is so important for us to always show Lyla and Max that their parents love each other no matter what life piles on our plates and we love them equally as much. 

I'm so happy we were able to have the wedding in the mountains, right where we already have so many wonderful memories. The wind was blowing all afternoon and stopped right in time. I don't think that was a coincidence either. I'm grateful so many people traveled to help us celebrate. The wedding ceremony, officiated by Jordan, was beautiful and intimate. My heart felt so full. It was humbling to have our family and friends witness the love and commitment we share. Kirk gave Lyla a ring to symbolize his commitment to her as her dad. I know she is very young, but it still felt like somehow she understood the significance of the day. We danced and celebrated all night. It was the perfect day that I will value forever.

As far as married life goes, so far it feels the exact same as before. The only difference is getting used to my new name and seeing a wedding band wrapped around Kirk's finger. These are pleasant changes to acclimate ourselves to. I will post more wedding pictures when I receive them from the photographer. 

Recap: 

Do I want to plan another wedding? Absolutely not. 

Do I want to live our wedding day over and over? Yes! Just without the roller coaster of emotions. 

 

Some Idaho Favorites

Enjoy.

the airport crew ready to get this party started.

i say this every time. but what a circus!

finally some relaxation in idaho,

missing dad. better call him.

geared up for winter in driggs! 

two beautiful fashionistas.

nothing better than dress up with aunts.

nothing unusual here. just painting granny's nails in my undies.

uncle chad seriously knows how to play. 

lots and lots and lots of crafting.

four wheeler rides with grandpa.

that seventeen month gap is looking smaller & smaller.

just some freaks at the grocery store.

bachelorette party part one.

bachelorette party part two.

i've dreamed of this day for practically seven years.

so long idaho! we are going back to texas.

and if you look reaaaaally closely, you can see the beautiful tetons.
love you, idaho. see you next time! 

 

Rewind Time

Hello my old friend. It's time to dust off this layer of dirt and start blogging about life again. I never meant to stop. It's just that getting married is 1000x more stressful than I anticipated, but I'll blog more on that later. First I want to rewind to a blog post that I meant to enter several weeks ago.

This is summer number two that Libby came to visit us in Texas! She must like me alright since she already agreed to come back for round three! I think we have a tradition going here, people. And we all know I am all about tradition.  

The details of our adventures are already a bit blurry. I remember I took her to a lot of grocery stores. She got the full Frozen experience. I think Lyla even allowed her to be Elsa, which is a huge honor. We had a fun night at Pinot's Pallet. We did some kid crafts. We ate. We shopped. We bonded. I loved having her here and instead of saying farewell at the airport, we got to follow her all the way to Idaho. It was so nice to have an extra person to keep the babies entertained during flight.