We welcomed Handsome Monster the betta fish into our family one afternoon in the Spring of 2015. He lived a lonely, mundane life similar to other betta fish, swimming about his tank day in and day out. His most thrilling moment in life was most likely that one time he fell down the sink drain in the kitchen and I rescued him. I selfishly contemplated ending his sad existence at that time with a simple flip of a switch, but my conscious advised against it. The kids really adored that fish, as much as a fish can be adored that is. They enjoyed feeding him & occasionally helped clean his tank. This is the story of his tragic passing to the underworld.
I walked by Mr. Fish and noticed a large pile of food lingering at the bottom of his tank. Then I opened the container of food to find it completely empty. I instantly knew Maxwell was the culprit of such an act, but at the time I simply shrugged my shoulders and made a mental note of yet another thing that needed done later. I'll be honest, this task was definitely low priority. However, it did not occur to me the overhaul of fish food would poison him! I thought of it more as like a buffet. Yes. He died. I walked by a short time later to find his little fish-self floating at the top of the water. And we all know what that means! I tapped the tank a few times, initially trying to convince myself he was still alive --- flashback to my childhood. Then, I better get this off my chest too, my next thought was, "Well, at least I don't have to clean the tank now." Ahhh! I'm a terrible person. Don't tell Lyla.
Alright. So I kept it on the down low for the rest of the afternoon about Handsome Monster's food induced demise. I considered dumping the contents myself, but the odor was so putrid I decided to save it for Kirk. [Oh man! Now I'm a terrible wife too!] Kirk arrived home and I filled him in on the situation. He agreed to dump it because he's a sweetie like that, the problem is he went ahead and took care of it right then and there. The jury is still out on whether or not I actually said "wait until the kids go to bed" or if he just didn't hear me. cough I said it cough cough. Anyway, Kirk spooned the fish into a separate container and that's when Lyla caught him walking out the front door with the murky water filled tank. He was on his way to dump the thing outside far far away, the sewer maybe. He ignored Lyla and continued on through the front door, which left me with the incessant questioning. I really suck at coming up with answers when under pressure, so most of my responses were a combo of mumbling and lots of ummm uhhh well. I would not be a good candidate for debate team. My brain finally sputtered out that the fish got sick.
Lyla is a bright little girl, so upon receiving those details and putting it together with the fact that her dad was disposing of the fish tank, she replied with "you mean he's dead?" And que the water works. I wish I could tell you it was one of her award winning dramatic performances, but this was the real deal. She was visibly upset about the information she had just processed. I walked her over to the fish floating in a cup and she wailed even more. I gave her a big hug and felt shocked by her reaction. I don't think we can own another pet ever again because they all die eventually and this was just heartbreaking for my sweet girl. It was heartbreaking for me too, I felt so bad for her. This was a seriously sad situation. If you've ever seen the movie Grown Ups, it totally reminded me of the scene when the little girl reacts to the moth getting electrocuted on the bug zapper. I can't help but laugh a little about that.
We snuggled up in her bed and talked about how lovely of a fish Handsome Monster was. I had to get a little creative because honestly what do you say about a fish ---- "He was such a good swimmer...." I like to keep it honest with my kiddos as much as possible so I explained to Lyla how the fish got sick because he was overfed. This initiated more tears, yet I found myself holding back a smirk as she said "I tell Max 'just a little pinch' all the time!!!!" She was referring to the proper amount of fish food that should have been dispensed. We went into detail about how it was an accident and then I felt myself getting desperate because she was still so sad. I turned on my improv skills and this is what happened --- so much for not sugar coating it. Ha!
I told her that when fish "get sick" it's very important to flush them down the toilet, instead of having a typical burial service. I told her there is a magical toilet tunnel, separate from the poop & pee tunnel, that sucks in sick fish. Those fish get carried through the magical tunnel and sent all the way to the ocean. Upon arrival, they meet a beautiful mermaid who cures them of their illness and revives them back to their happy fish-self. She was very fascinated by this idea and wanted more and more details. I told her stories about how I was a terrible fish owner when I was a little girl and grandma Anna flushed many of my fish down the toilet. This was somewhat true, but then she wanted the names of my fish. Holy crap. Okay --- their names were Goldilocks & Rocko. We talked about how Handsome Monster has likely met all of my old fish and they are having great times down in the ocean. We agreed it's a much happier living environment than he was previously in.
We went to the bathroom together to send Handsome Monster down the magical tunnel. She shed more tears during the short memorial service. She said goodbye and seemed content with her decision afterwards. It was time for bed but before that she had one more request. She wanted to give a hug to Max, who was already in bed. I said yes because she melts my heart with that one every time. She went into Max's room to exchange hugs. I watched as she relayed her own version about the whereabouts of the fish. She told him the fish is living with all of mommy's old fish and lots of mermaids. She didn't even blame him, which I thought was very merciful of her. She was quite sweet to Max who listened intently, but was ultimately oblivious and remained emotionless over the issue.
Most importantly, Lyla worked through the unexpected grief of losing her fish friend. She understands and her emotions have stabilized. She has already started discussing the idea of getting a new fish, who most definitely needs to be pink this time according to Lyla. I think I'll let round two of having a pet fish remain just an idea for as long as possible.
RIP Handsome Monster. Taylor caught a video of Lyla during the peak of her sadness. I was going to post it but it just seems too raw for the blog. If you really want to see it you can certainly text me, be sure to have the personal access code listed on your VIP card ready. Heeheheeeee!
