Baby Hungry. Ew.

Okay. Don't freak out.

I'm feeling baby hungry. Again? Already? What?

Do not take this as a hint that I'm pregnant or anything silly like that.

I am not a fan of my babies growing up. Max is so big already.

 I just feel like I need more time with a newborn.

I need a couple more weeks of nurturing a tiny precious little baby,

 then I will give them back to the hospital, or wherever they come from.

I'm really puzzled as to why I'm feeling this way though.

There is usually at least one child crying in this house at all times,

which induces pathetic pity-parties hosted by yours truly.

But every once in awhile I get bored and think,

I could handle one more of these! 

I enjoy a challenge. 

Then my brain screams, "Nooo! You are crazy enough!"

And I snap back to reality. 

I firmly believe one child is plenty. 

Yes. At least with one kid you can take shifts,

 but add another and you're automatically on slave duty 24/7.
Why put yourself through that kind of torture?

We intended on two only for Lyla's sake. 

Nature brought us Max a little earlier than planned,

 but he's here now and we're going to keep him around.

Motherhood truly is a wonderful thing.

But it is also so so so so demanding. 
Mentally draining. Physically exhausting. 
All my years of babysitting didn't exactly prepare me like I thought it would.
The difference in watching someone else's kids is
a. you don't blame yourself when they act like shit heads.
b. at the end of the day, you're off duty.

Why anyone would desire 3+ children is beyond my comprehension.

I mean, that woman with 19 kids or whatever? Can she even remember all their names?

Does she keep a fifth of vodka in her diaper bag at all times? 

How many black eyes has her husband suffered? 

Does she cry herself to sleep every night?

I salute you, ma'am. You are definitely going to heaven.

I can accept it if you think I'm cold hearted or selfish or any other crass names.

I probably deserve all of them for thinking this way. 

I just question how people juggle giant families without

 turning into a terrifying wicked witch.

I already get short with Lyla for no reason sometimes and

 feel completely guilty for doing so. She is too little to be annoying.

But sometimes, it just happens. And I don't like it.

So I try to just take a deep breath and remind myself that she is little. 

Three kids would certainly send me into the psychopath category. 

Plus, financially? Holy crap. No. Not possible. 

Maybe I'm writing all this nonsense after a hectic day. 

Maybe I only feel this way cause my babies are still so baby-ish & high maintenance.

Maybe other people have more patience than me.

Maybe my maternal instinct meter is broken. 

Maybe other women give into this crazy urge knowing that the

two weeks of enjoying a newborn makes the remaining 18+ years totally worth it.

All I know is someone in my life needs to start making some babies

soon to tame this undeniable hunger I have to reproduce. 

Side note: In the unlikely event I do have a third baby,

 it would be impossible not to fall in love just as I have with Lyla & Max.

I wouldn't want he/she to be permanently damaged after reading this and

think he/she's mother hated he/she before he/she was even born. 

I bet that was confusing for the he or she reading that short segment!