Balancing Life

Staying at home with my babies is a lot different than I ever imagined it would be. 

It can be hard. It can be exhausting. But it's also wonderful and oh so rewarding.

If I were still a working mother, I know I would likely face just

 as many challenges, they would just be different.

This is something I often reflect on.

I think about the limited time Kirk gets to spend with the kids during the week.

By the time he gets home from work they are usually already in their pajamas

 and sometimes Max is already asleep for the night.
 For the most part, real quality time with dad happens on the weekends.

Then I think about how it would be if I worked too and that would really suck.

As a stay at home mom, it truthfully is difficult to give 100% all of the time.

Sometimes I'm lazy. Sometimes I sit on the toilet a little longer than I should.

Sometimes I stare at my phone a little too long just to remind myself 

that adult life does still exist in the outside world.
But I am only human! Even on the worst day,
I would always choose these hooligans over leaving 
them with a sitter for eight hours a day!

I don't think  the value of motherhood is any different for a working mother.
For example, I don't love my kids any more than someone
 who works 40 hours per week//vice versa.

However, I've wondered if maybe a working mother is more capable of 

giving her kids 100% because of the limited time she gets with them. 

Maybe she appreciates her time with them more. Hmm. 
 It is just a thought. Not even a thought I necessarily agree with.
Simply a thought that I thought while pondering my family dynamic.
[i can feel my grandma's worry meter skyrocketing]

Regardless, I love that I am the constant presence in the lives of my babies. 

Maybe not always a joyful presence, but constant nonetheless.

I'm working on my third year of this motherhood gig 

and it continues to the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Yes I know, there is still a lot more to come. 
I'm still a rookie.

And with that, here are a few little things I enjoy. A few things that I will one day miss.

1.  Lyla automatically thinks we're going somewhere anytime I put on real clothes. [ex: jeans.]

2. Max starts smacking his lips together the moment I pull down my shirt to feed him.

3. Lyla rushes to Max's room after his nap, pokes her 
head over his crib and says, "don't cry Max!"

4. When Lyla has to go potty she drops her pants to her ankles 

wherever she is & then runs to the toilet.

5. Max randomly crawls over to me and lays his head down 

on my legs or chest for a few long seconds.
He is the sweetest.