Perspective

I met a mom at the park this week. This happens all the time, so don't go thinking that was the highlight of my day or anything. Parks for moms are like bars for 21 year olds. You prowl around the playground looking for an unsuspecting mom, awaiting the perfect opportunity to start a conversation without looking too desperate. Then if you're lucky you get a phone number. Yep. That pretty much sums up park life and bar life. Haha! My type is usually the yoga pants and ponytail chick. I mean really, who wears heels to the park? Go home Barbie. 

Anyway, this park dialogue usually begins with the dazzling mom pick up line of "aww he/she is so cute. how old is he/she?" Every once in awhile I meet a mom and we discover our kids are both 17 months apart. For a moment time stands still as I know we are both thinking, "oh my gosh. did we just become best friends?" That usually fizzles quickly because there is way more to a friendship than sharing the date you birthed your child. And I generally find people to be crazy...in a bad way. The "quality over quantity" mentality is the way to roll. 

I'm an observant gal though. And based off my observations, I think most moms at the park crave some sort of companionship or friendship, pretty much any sliver of adult interaction! The life of a stay at home mom is a lonely world. But usually just as a connection is made, someone notices their child eating dirt and the new friend is lost in the midst of slides and swings and sandboxes. But I still find ways to appreciate that short five minute friendship, even if it means only sharing a horrifying potty training story or nap time struggle.

Okay. So back to my original train of thought. I met a mom today and after a few minutes of small talk we identified that our kids are the same ages AND both 17 months apart. Yes. That BFF light started flashing! Lol. We compared notes for a few minutes and laughed as we watched our kiddos play. Then she said something that lingered in my mind. She said, "most days I feel like I'm just surviving." I reflected on that remark for awhile and I disagree. I do feel her pain. There are some days I am certain I am living in an indefinite hell on earth. Toddlers are very emotional little creatures! The daily battles and conflicts are exhausting. 

But...I don't feel like I'm just surviving. I am thriving. I am living the life I always wanted. In fact, it's better than I imagined. Nothing good in life comes easy and I don't think that's something you learn until you become an adult, which is why being an adult seems so glamorous when you're a kid. I have bad days just like everyone else. Days when my attitude is plain poopy despite all my efforts to make it otherwise. And on those days I especially appreciate Kirk. He has a way of putting things in perspective without minimizing my feelings. After a long day, I will typically cry and complain to him about all my daily dilemmas. Then he responds by asking, "Kaili, are our kids hungry?" No. "Are they sick?" No. "Are they loved?" Yes. "Do they have a roof over their head?" Well, yes. 

I wish I could go back to the conversation with that mom today when she told me she was just surviving. I would like to remind her that although it is most definitely chaotic, it's all worth it. Not because I don't think she already knows it. Of course she knows how rewarding motherhood is. Of course she knows it's worth it. But sometimes our perspective gets cloudy. I think we all need a reminder at times from someone who can shine a little light on our cloud and identify with our hardship. I think in that moment, I was meant to be her source of comfort. 

Life is challenging. Yes. But it's always a humbling feeling when I'm reminded that I am not experiencing any real world issues. I am a fortunate being.