When our family was given the opportunity for me to become a stay at home mom and move to Texas, the most logical decision was obvious. I traded in my awesome job at the law firm for the most important job of all. I knew leaving the only place I've ever called home would be a big transition, but it was all about starting a new chapter in our book. I often think about what life would be like if I continued working or if our life still existed in Idaho. What kind of challenges would I face as a working mother? Would I feel guilty and overwhelmed, much like I do now, but for completely different reasons? Would our kids be happier, would Kirk be happier, would I be happier with a different family dynamic? I think there are sacrifices no matter which side of the fence you happen to land on. Isn't finding balance in our lives the most common human goal?
There are less than 30% of families with a stay at home parent in our country. I was surprised by that number when I looked it up. I wonder if people value their career more than the idea of raising their own children or if our culture has become so fast paced that most families require two incomes? I imagine there is some truth to both of those theories. I'm not implying there is only one right way to raise children. I think that would be an arrogant mindset to have. I actually find it fascinating the way this modern generation has broke away from the mold and discovered several successful methods to raise a family. It's created so much diversity in our world, allowing so many opportunities to teach our children to be accepting of everyone.
I recognize our family is representing a traditional lifestyle. Kirk works hard and I know he endures a lot of stress being the provider for a family of four. I constantly feel the pressure to ensure my kids are healthy, happy, clean, fed, rested, educated, exercised, entertained, loved. It's incredibly demanding. But we appreciate each other. We are ultimately a team and help each other out in all aspects of our lives, but I think one of the most important lessons we are teaching our children is that our family is one unit and everyone has to contribute for us to function properly.
There is a quote I wanted to share that is so relatable to my life and very hilarious. It is a husband sharing his opinion about his wife being a SAHM. It seriously could have come straight from Kirk's mouth. "Stay-at-home mom's have THE most difficult job. There is nowhere to hide, and they are constantly on call. That said, the easiest part of being a stay-at-home mom is knowing the person throwing temper tantrums is actually a child. Children cry, whine, manipulate, and are naturally full of drama. Unfortunately, at my office, some 'grown ups' don't recognize those attributes are no longer necessary!"
There are less than 30% of families with a stay at home parent in our country. I was surprised by that number when I looked it up. I wonder if people value their career more than the idea of raising their own children or if our culture has become so fast paced that most families require two incomes? I imagine there is some truth to both of those theories. I'm not implying there is only one right way to raise children. I think that would be an arrogant mindset to have. I actually find it fascinating the way this modern generation has broke away from the mold and discovered several successful methods to raise a family. It's created so much diversity in our world, allowing so many opportunities to teach our children to be accepting of everyone.
I recognize our family is representing a traditional lifestyle. Kirk works hard and I know he endures a lot of stress being the provider for a family of four. I constantly feel the pressure to ensure my kids are healthy, happy, clean, fed, rested, educated, exercised, entertained, loved. It's incredibly demanding. But we appreciate each other. We are ultimately a team and help each other out in all aspects of our lives, but I think one of the most important lessons we are teaching our children is that our family is one unit and everyone has to contribute for us to function properly.
There is a quote I wanted to share that is so relatable to my life and very hilarious. It is a husband sharing his opinion about his wife being a SAHM. It seriously could have come straight from Kirk's mouth. "Stay-at-home mom's have THE most difficult job. There is nowhere to hide, and they are constantly on call. That said, the easiest part of being a stay-at-home mom is knowing the person throwing temper tantrums is actually a child. Children cry, whine, manipulate, and are naturally full of drama. Unfortunately, at my office, some 'grown ups' don't recognize those attributes are no longer necessary!"
It's important for me to remember the reason we made this choice was because we wanted to be present for our children as much as possible [<- duh] and that included avoiding daycare. However, I think I'm finally to a point where my only regret about moving away from Idaho is the distance from most of our family, only because it would be so wonderful for the kids to have grandparents within a 20 mile radius. I'm content with my other losses because I've gained so much more. I always imagined my own kids making the same memories I made during my childhood, but they aren't and that's okay.
I am so grateful for the time I have with my kids, especially during these early years. And thanks to our flexibility, we often get to visit Kirk at work during the week too. It's not going to be long before Lyla & Max are in school, making friends, getting involved in their own hobbies --- and when that time comes, I think I will truly miss my two partners in crime 24/7.
The days can be long, but the years are flying by at an absurdly fast speed. I try to remind myself to take a step back and simply watch them as often as possible. I memorize their body language and engrave their sweet voices in my mind. I take a deep breath of their scent anytime they sit on my lap. I observe as they interact with one another. I often find myself reminiscing about moments that happened merely six months ago. These little creatures are continually evolving and one day they are going to evolve to the point where they are one of those self-sufficient, contributing members of society and walk right out the front door. There are obviously still many bridges to cross and obstacles to endure before all that, but the thought of my babies leaving the nest is terrifying. I think about the struggles they will face. The heartache they will experience. The lessons they will learn and people who may betray them. It's confusing that hypothetical situations have the ability to bring me such sorrow.
I do think all of this is a component of parenthood that nobody really mentions. It's definitely not something I ever read about it in any parenting book. There are conflicting opinions on everything from sleep to eating habits to playground etiquette, yet I was never warned that becoming a mom would induce everlasting worry and fear. I think these feelings are something most parents cope with throughout their journey. It's a feeling of being pulled in two directions when you want so badly for your children to experience everything life has to offer, but want to protect them from all of the evil and corruption in the world. It weighs heavy on my heart.
On a lighter note, in an effort to bring myself back to a happy place, I know Lyla & Max have a great future in store for them. They are blessed with an amazing family. They have people who love and support them. They will have many opportunities to reach their full potential. They are going to make so many accomplishments in their lifetime and I get to cheer them on through on all of it. It's so amazing watching them grow up. I love watching them learn a new skill and develop new talents. I love watching their bond strengthen. They are kind hearted individuals and I adore them. I am so proud to be their mom.
Motherhood is the most valuable gift I've ever been given. It's definitely more challenging than I ever could have prepared for, but the reward is as good as gold. These babies radiate so much love. Life is good.
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