Blank Johnson

The universe decided 2012 just wasn't memorable enough,

 because my second pregnancy emerged into our lives with a huge surprise.

It started like this....

Kirk left for Texas the beginning of October and immediately after he left I was sick.

Not the "cough, I'm gonna stay home from work and clean my house" kind of sick,

This was "I'm going to stay in bed and only get up to greet the toilet" kind of sick.

I was literally in bed all day. And that never happens to me.

I suspected food poisoning, maybe the stomach flu.

My mom suggested I was reacting to the stress of being solo mom for a month.

My body typically doesn't react physically to stress....

but it seemed like a logical answer, so I went with it.

A few days later I was feeling slightly better, but still not quite right.

I was expressing my symptoms of extreme nausea to a co-worker 

and she proclaimed, "maybe you're pregnant."

I quickly did some math in my head and realized that was quite possible.
How did this possibility not even cross my mind?

That's when I started to panic...

I purchased two pregnancy tests. 

I took the first one when I got home that evening
 and it read positive almost instantly.

At first I thought that couldn't be accurate because the directions clearly state,

"please allow two minutes for results to appear."

I took the second one in the morning with the same result.

I wiped the tears away and called Kirk with the news.

Unlike myself, he remained calm about the situation.

In retrospect, I wasn't upset about having another baby.

We wanted Lyla to have a sibling. I was simply upset about the timing.

The past year has been really challenging for me, in more ways than just one.
I was ready for life to slow down and chill out a little for 2013.

I didn't want to be pregnant again. I'm not ready for another double chin.
I never planned on having TWO children in diapers. eek!
I imagined Lyla being a princess for a couple more years before sharing the spotlight.
And lastly, I'm definitely not prepared for the chaos of raising two babies!

My thoughts continued to spin around in self pity until
 I realized I wasn't focusing at all on the positive, I said to myself,
"hey self, you're being pretty darn selfish. 
Lyla is going to have a buddy and it's going to be awesome!"

All of the things I was dwelling on weren't negatives at all.
I can do this!

1. I'll get another pregnancy out of the way and 
then vow to never ever have a double chin again.

2. Two children in diapers at once, that's actually a brilliant idea.
 Kill two birds with one stone theory?

3. Lyla will always be my little princess, but now she will have a friend to play with and
 I think their itsy bitsy age gap will mold them into best friends.

There's no doubt that life with two babies will be choatic. I may lose my mind. 
And even though the timing seems inconvenient at the moment, 
I truly believe everything happens for a reason.
This baby was meant for our family and it was meant to happen when it did.

So, boy or girl predictions? 
I've been constantly nauseous this time around,
which is complete opposite of my first pregnancy.
I've been having crazy, wild, vivid dreams, which is also opposite of my first pregnancy.
Also, they have almost exact opposite predicted birthdays.
Does all this opposite business mean anything gender wise? I'm not sure.
I can honestly say, with my whole heart, that I don't care whether it's a boy or girl.

(This next part is going to sound corny, don't judge me.)
There was something magical about holding Lyla for the first time.
In that very moment I realized I wasn't awaiting the arrival of a boy or girl,
I was waiting for this exact little being. 

She was made perfectly for us and 
I know baby #2 will also fit perfectly into our little puzzle.

So, for now I'll say goodbye to my hipbones once again.
See you again around June 5th!